i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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