I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
