I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
