i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
