I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize