He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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