plz talk dirty to me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
