so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
