i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize