Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
