Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize