I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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