were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
