this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?