remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
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