I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I know her cup size but not her name....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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