We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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