don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
