I'm so fucking centered right now
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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