erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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