A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I need a beard to bite.
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