So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
