i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
