Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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