NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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