Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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