R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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