this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
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We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
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I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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