capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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