I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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