i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
