It's Friday. Sex?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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