Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
