At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
