some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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