Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
