you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
