yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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