I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
