Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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