i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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