i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Boobs speak an international language.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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