I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is wine microwaveable?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
