ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
