yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
