Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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