So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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