is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize