So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
