He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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