areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
