I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
