Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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