this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
