no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
