I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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