do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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