you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
