I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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