If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
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He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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