Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
