I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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