it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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